Being a Mom of four demands alot from a person. I have given up the sexy figure, the freestyle life and pretty much any private time I ever had, but I guess the thing that I've given up the most would have to be my pride.
As a parent, a good parent I might add, I no longer give thought to things like looking good, rest and living without stress constantly tying up my thoughts like a OCD patient on Adrenalin in a fish netting place. I instead think of things like rent, bills, food and clothing, often having thoughts like 'wow that would be a nice blouse but....' or ' I should get myself this or that but...'
You see my priorities are no longer about me. If my children are hungry... I feed them, anyway I legally can. I will stand in food bank lines, I will knock on friends doors and beg, I don't much care how I get the food, only that I have it for them. Same thought applies when the rent and bills come round. I wouldn't normally work midnights, or at a place I find beneath my abilities mentally...(i.e.: Tim Horton's) and yet here I am, working the crap shift, making the crap wage because I was too stupid to get the education needed to provide for my family. So it sucks,
inwardly it kills my to put the uniform on and be seen in it. It kills me to know that right now unless I win the lottery I will probably continue working there so I can be the parent I need to be, but eh... that's what being a mom is, giving of yourself so the kids get better right?
I love being a mom and wife, couldn't ask for a more demanding yet rewarding job on Earth, but I hate working somewhere beneath me. Just saying.
Adendum:
ReplyDeletePlease do not take from this that I am in any way unappreciative in working for Tim Horton's. My point to this post was simply that I will do all I can to make sure my kids are provided for. I have experience that far surpasses my position at Timmies, yet I can not afford to wait for the dream job as it were.
It is hard to do things you know are less than what you're worth financially but again, pride is now a distant memory to me because I need to feed and clothes my young. They are what matter most to me, not the job. That was all I meant in this post, nothing more. I'm very tired and not coming across the way I would normally so forgive my lack of proffessionalism.